The Right of Wife: Commentary on Imam Sajjad’s (AS) Treaties of Right (Part 21)

The Right of Wife (21th): Commentary on Imam Sajjad’s (AS) Treaties of Right by Mohammad Sobhanie.

بِسْمِ اللَّهِ الرَّحْمَٰنِ الرَّحِيمِ

وَأمَّــــــــــــــا حَقُّ رَعِيَّتِكَ بمِلْكِ النّكَاحِ فَأَنْ تَعْلَمَ أَنَّ اللَّهَ جَـعَـلَـهَـا سَكَنًا وَمُسْتَرَاحًا وَأُنْسًـــــــــا وَوَاقِيةً، وَكَذَلِكَ كُلُّ وَاحِدٍ مِنْكُمَا يَجِبُ أَنْ يَحْمَدَ اللَّهَ عَلَى صَاحِبهِ، ويَعْلَـــــــــــــمَ أَنَّ ذَلِكَ نِعْمَةٌ مِنْهُ عَلَيْهِ. وَوَجَبَ أَنْ يُحْسِــــــــــنَ صُحْبَةَ نِعْمَةِ اللَّهِ وَيُكْرِمَهَا ويَرْفَقَ بهَا وَإنْ كَانَ حَقُّكَ عَلَيْهَا أَغْلَظَ وَطَاعَتِكَ بهَا أَلْزَمَ فِيمَا أَحْببْتَ وَكَرِهْتَ مَا لَمْ تَكنْ مَعْصِيةً، فإنَّ لَهَا حَقُّ الرَّحــــــــْمَةُ وَالْمُؤَانَسَةِ، وَمَوْضِعُ السُّكُونِ إلَيهَا قَضَاءَ اللَّذَّةِ الَّتِي لا بُدَّ مِنْ قَضَائِهَــــــــا وَذَلِكَ عَظِيـــــمٌ. وَلا قُوَّةَ إلا باللهِ

The Right of Wife (Part 21)

The right of wife is that you should know that Allah (SWT) has made her a source of solace, comfort, and companionship and to protect you from harm. You and your spouse should thank Allah (SWT) for bringing you together and recognize each other as divine blessings. You must be an excellent companion to your wife and always treat her with honor and kindness.

It is true that husbands have a greater right over their wives and that wives should obey their husbands as long as that obedience does not violate God’s commandments. However, it is equally important to note that wives have the right to receive mercy and intimate companionship from their husbands. It is man’s duty to compensate for the comfort and pleasure he receives from living with his wife, which is a great responsibility. It is essential to remember that all power comes from God.

Commentary:

The Quran states that marriage brings peace and serenity to physical and spiritual lives, positively impacting our personal and social relationships. According to Imam Sajjad (AS), a husband and wife are divine blessings for each other.

Peace and tranquility are born from the fact that men and women are equal partners in a marriage. Each complements the other’s emotional and physical needs. Consequently, their union, deemed marriage, fosters a sense of shared prosperity and serenity in each spouse’s life. Verse 30:21 (Ar-Rum) reads:

وَمِنْ آيَاتِهِ أَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُم مِّنْ أَنفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَاجًا لِّتَسْكُنُوا إِلَيْهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيْنَكُم مَّوَدَّةً وَرَحْمَةً ۚ إِنَّ فِي ذَٰلِكَ لَآيَاتٍ لِّقَوْمٍ يَتَفَكَّرُونَ ‎﴿٢١﴾‏

30:21 And of God’s signs is that God created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquillity in them; and God placed between you (lasting) love and mercy. Indeed, in that are signs for a people who give thought.

The term “Mawadatan” (مَّوَدَّةً) translates to love, and “Rahmatan” (رَحْمَةً) to mercy. The Verse affirms that Allah (SWT) has entrusted love and mercy to a married couple. While love in marriage is often a mutual sentiment, mercy is a selfless act of kindness. It is the pillar that fortifies relationships, enabling couples to support each other through hardships and make sacrifices for each other.

Imam Sajjad (AS), in the first part of his sermons, says: The right of your wife is that you should know that Allah (SWT) has made her a source of solace, comfort, and companionship and to protect you from harm. You and your spouse should thank Allah (SWT) for bringing you together and recognize each other as divine blessings. You must be an excellent companion to your wife and always treat her with honor and kindness.

Man, the Head of Household: In Islam, the family is seen as a microcosm of society that requires a leader. The man is considered the head of the family and is entrusted with the family’s welfare. He provides food, shelter, healthcare, safety, and other essentials.

As per Islamic teachings, the wife is required to obey her husband, respect his role in the family’s welfare, and maintain her intimate relationship with him. However, it is essential to note that the wife has complete autonomy at home in making her personal decisions, such as finances and household chores. For example, 1) a woman’s income and wealth belong to her, and she is not obligated to spend it for the welfare of her family; 2) the husband cannot force household tasks on his wife. If a wife performs household chores, she has the right to seek compensation, which includes breastfeeding and caring for their children [1].

In the second part of his sermons, Imam Sajjad (AS) says: It is true that husbands have a greater right over their wives and that wives should obey their husbands as long as that obedience does not violate God’s commandments. However, it is equally important to note that wives have the right to receive mercy and intimate companionship from their husbands. It is man’s duty to compensate for the comfort and pleasure he receives from living with his wife, which is a great responsibility. It is essential to remember that all power comes from God.

The Prophet (PBUH) said [2]:

خَيْرُكُمْ خَيْرُكُمْ لأهله وأنا من خيركم لأهلي

The best of you are the ones who treat their family the best. And I am the best of you towards my family.

Leniency between Spouses: Embarking on a new journey together, filled with love and affection, is a truly beautiful experience for every young couple. However, the inevitable ups and downs of life can bring forth various hardships, problems, illnesses, and crises that may challenge the relationship. These difficulties may lead to negative reactions between the wife and husband, sparking disputes and problems. In such trying times, it is crucial for spouses to be lenient, forgiving each other’s mistakes and striving to forget them, all in the pursuit of gaining God’s pleasure. The Prophet (PBUH) said [3],[4]:

مَنِ احْتَمَلَ مِنِ امْرَأَتِهِ وَ لَوْ كَلِمَةً وَاحِدَةً أَعْتَقَ اللَّهُ رَقَبَتَهُ مِنَ النَّارِ وَ أَوْجَبَ لَهُ الْجَنَّةَ.

God will save whoever bears his wife – even if it is just one (bad) word – from the Fire. God will assure him of Heaven.

Imam Baqir (AS) has been narrated to have said [5],[6]:

قَالَ أَمِيرُ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ علیه السلام: “كَتَبَ اللَّهُ الْجِهَادَ عَلَى الرِّجَالِ وَ النِّسَاءِ ، فَجِهَادُ الرَّجُلِ بَذْلُ مَالِهِ وَ نَفْسِهِ حَتَّى يُقْتَلَ فِي سَبِيلِ اللَّهِ، وَ جِهَادُ الْمَرْأَةِ أَنْ تَصْبِرَ عَلَى مَا تَرَى مِنْ أَذَى زَوْجِهَا وَ غَيْرَتِهِ

God, the Almighty has decreed holy war for both men and women. The holy war for men is to expend their property and their blood until they attain martyrdom in the way of God. A woman’s holy war is to be patient with troubles she experiences from her husband and his jealousy.

Notes:

[1] (فَإِنْ أَرْضَعْنَ لَكُمْ فَآتُوهُنَّ أُجُورَهُنَّ), 65:6 (At-Talaq) And if they breastfeed for you, then give them their payment

[2] wasayil alshayehi, Vol14, Chapter 88, hadith8.

[3] http://shiaonlinelibrary.com/215_الكتب/1340_مكارم-الأخلاق-الشيخ-الطبرسي/الصفحة

[4] https://hedayatgar.ir/fa/news/828/(وظایف-مرد-از-دیدگاه-اسلام۳)

[5] https://www.islam4u.com/ar/almojib/لماذا-رفع-الله-الجهاد-عن-المرأة-؟

[6] http://shiaonlinelibrary.com/(الكتب/1126_الكافي-الشيخ-الكليني-ج-٥/الصفحة_9)