Part 3 – From Sunnism to Shia Islam
It was now 2000, a new millennium, and due to personal circumstances, I found myself moving and living in a different locality and in a situation where for the first time I could freely study and fully and openly practice my faith.
God is the best of planners and He certainly moves in mysterious ways. As I explored the area I had unintentionally moved to, I was blessed to find an Islamic College and an Islamic Centre within walking difference. I found various addresses of different Islamic organisations in the area and engaged in what felt like door-to-door canvasing asking for Islamic information and books so that I could study more. Thanks to God, I had a better experience than in Egypt and collected various booklets, in English, less dusty, and without grunting requests for payment.
I went to the Islamic College and the Islamic Centre near me, who advised me to go to some place called the Imam Hussain Hawza. It sounded a bit strange and a bit foreign but I went along, young children in tow, to find out more. It turned out that they ran Islamic classes in English and had a free crèche for children. Well it sounded too good to be true …. and of course, in my limited opinion at the time, it was. What I quickly realised was that all these helpful ‘Islamic’ organisations that I found on my doorstep, were in fact ‘Shi’ah’ …. ‘Oh God how could you do this to me’ I cried!
By this stage I had been a Muslim for around 7 years and was a strange paradoxical Sufi-Salafi hybrid. I was attracted most definitely to Sufism and the spiritual teachings of Islam, however most of the texts I had read, presented Islam from the Wahhabi/Salafi perspective, which inevitably formed and coloured my understanding of Islam and the other ‘deviant’ sects.
Once that sinking feeling had somewhat subsided, undeterred and still desperate to learn about Islam I made the decision to try out this ‘Hawza’ and to learn what I could that made sense in terms of what I knew about Islam. I could then just discard the aberrant parts the Shi’ahs had ‘innovated’ (bid’ah) and introduced surreptitiously into Islam. What I knew about the Shi’ah sect was that it was a deviant group and that Sunnis were the right sect and the one that would be saved from the Fire whilst the other 71 sects were doomed to Hell (according to an oft quoted hadith). They prayed on rocks, prayed late and skipped some prayers, had a fake Quran (which I thought the scholars probably hid under their turbans), cursed the companions of the Prophet (saws), worshipped Ali (as) as a prophet because they believed Angel Gabriel had made a mistake and revealed the Qur’an to Muhammad (saws) by accident, they made strange noises, had strange ‘Imams’, beat themselves up at certain times of the year, and the women looked like witches shuffling sinisterly around in their black cloaks. Why would anyone in their right mind join that gang! So as not to be caught up in their cultish ways I thought I’d better study what they were up to so that I could recognise and reject anything un-Islamic.
Having first recited all the protection verses from the Qur’an several times, I began to attend the Hawza regularly. My experience was that the deviant Shi’ah’ people I met were friendly, welcoming of me and my scepticism, didn’t all wear black or look like witches, and were generally educated and open. This attitude enabled me to feel comfortable and to begin to learn. They did seem to use the same Qur’an (at least in front of me) and much of what they said made sense, although on one occasion I nearly had a heart attack and thought my suspicions were confirmed when one of the scholars in a lecture said, “The Prophet Ali, salam”. In shock, I asked him to repeat what he had just said and asked if he believed that Ali (as) was a prophet? The scholar looked stunned, then bemused, and clarified that he had in fact said, “The prophets, alayhum salam”.
After recovering from the embarrassment, what ensued was months of studying Sunni texts and Shi’ah texts, talking to Sunni scholars and Shi’ah scholars, studying the history of Islam and questioning and trying to make sense of new practices that felt very foreign to me as a Sunni Muslim. The confusion I had experienced when undergoing my initial conversion to Islam paled into the distance in comparison to what I was now going through. Again, I felt confused, lost, desperately wanting to know the truth but just not knowing what that was. Shi’ah Islam made sense but felt so foreign and so different to what I had learnt as a Sunni, and it had an eerie quality to it. Who were these Imams they kept talking about, what is this salawat that they chanted with a hypnotic-like, spooky and strange intonation? What on earth is going on in Muharram? What on earth is Muharram?? It was well weird! How did I know they weren’t lying and practicing ‘taqqiyah’ and just saying what they wanted me to hear? Also, Islam had abolished hierarchy so why all this Syed versus Non-Syed superiority and turban apartheid? I wanted a direct line to God, that’s what had appealed to me about Islam in the first place and here they are talking about intercession with Imams who I’d never even heard of …. It felt like a big and unnerving step backwards. It was way too much to process and take in all at once!
I also wondered why the Shi’ah were such a minority group and why they did not integrate more with Sunni Muslims, why did they choose to keep secluded and to themselves? These were all questions that revolved around and around in my mind. In addition, any Sunni Muslim I knew just reinforced any sense of scepticism and suspicion that I had and basically warned me to stay away from the Rafidi Shi’ah infidels, aouzabillah. To an outsider, Shi’ism seemed like a very small, almost secretive cult, yet what I was reading and uncovering through studying the history in particular, was stirring something in me. I remember calling to God saying, God I’ve already converted to Islam, why are you putting me through this turmoil again?!
It was now 2002, and the turning point eventually came when I reflected on the concept of Imamate. It had been covered in one of the lectures at Hawza and highlighted as a keystone belief of Shi’ah Islam. The lecturer had mentioned how God would not leave Islam in its infancy unprotected, in the same way a mother would not leave an infant alone if she was absent, she would arrange for someone trustworthy to take care of it. I thought long and hard about this point and what Imamate meant, alongside reading history books about what occurred after the demise of the Holy Prophet (saws) and what had happened at Saqifa. I also read Sahih Bukhari and Sahih Muslim and found many hadith supporting Shi’ah teachings. Could it be that what the majority of people believe is wrong (again), and that the Shi’ah were in fact right or closer to the truth? The argument of the majority being right may be compelling to some, but it held no sway for me, especially as I had experienced the opposite in my journey to Islam.
It was at this point, having studied the history in depth, and with the logical understanding of the concept of Imamate, that I eventually accepted Shi’ah Islam as the authentic Islam that God had revealed to the Prophet (saws) and intended for mankind. It was a difficult process and the reaction I got from most Sunni Muslims I knew, was less than favourable. The path to Shi’ah Islam, and the continuing path after recognising its truth, has not been easy, not only on a practical level but also on a cognitive and emotional level. It has taken me a long time to come to understand and fully internalise many of the aspects of Shi’ism, including perhaps the most important and beneficial aspect which is the position of the AhlulBayt (as) and the esteemed role they hold. Having rejected the notion of intercession and hierarchy in Sunni Islam, it has taken me time to come to fully appreciate the central role and blessing that the AhlulBayt (as) play in our lives.
I don’t yet feel worthy to call myself a Shi’ah in the true essence of the word, but feel that I am in an ongoing process of trying to become one as I strive to deepen my understanding of Islam, and develop a stronger connection and relationship with the AhlulBayt (as).
I personally feel we can never assume that we have arrived at the ultimate truth and believing something cognitively is also very different to knowing something experientially. My understanding of God and of Islam, of life and of people is constantly evolving and, God Willing, deepening and I pray this process will never cease. The teachings of true Islam and the knowledge provided to us by the AhlulBayt (as) contain guidance that exceeds far beyond all the riches of the world imaginable, and it is clear to see that this path provides the answers to all of humanity’s problems. But I believe we must exercise caution in assuming, or in adopting, an attitude that our understanding is always right or that we are custodians of the truth, as such attitudes can easily tip into arrogance and shut down dialogue with others who hold varying views.
True Islam provides the most perfect path to life and path to God, and I am eternally grateful that God guided me through a relentless and determined quest to find the truth. There is however much work to be done within the Shi’ah community, who to outsiders still appear as insular, alien and disconnected from the wider host community in which they are situated. There is an urgent need for us to engage with wider discourses and become active in social and political issues that increasingly need immediate attention. There is a world outside the institutional walls that desperately needs guidance and to know the insights and solutions that true Islam can provide. Refusing to recognise and acknowledge that we have any duty beyond our own immediate concerns is not an option; the Prophet (saws) and his message, as promulgated by the AhlulBayt (as), were sent to all of humanity not a select few. We all have many mountains to traverse, and if we think we have finished the climb, then we need to think again.
As I set off to travel the world all those years ago, it was the internal spiritual journey that I was ultimately being taken on, and that journey will never end. I didn’t make it to a mountain top in India or end up wearing an orange kaftan (yet), however I found something far more valuable along the way and came to the recognition that real adventure and discovery is ultimately to be found in the internal world of the soul, heart and mind.
It is only through the Mercy of God that I have been guided to where I am now. He has shed light on my ignorance, covered my faults, and any qualities or characteristics that have gotten me this far are nothing but a blessing from His Divine Grace and Compassion. Without Him I am truly nothing and I can never begin to understand or appreciate His favours let alone show gratitude to all He has given me.
All Praise is to God Alone, He is Lord of all the Worlds and the Knower of the secrets of hearts. May He never cease showering His limitless blessings on our Beloved Prophet (saws) and His Immaculate and Holy Family (as). May He hasten the reappearance of our eagerly awaited Imam Mahdi (as) and bless us all with carrying out our duty and swiftly answering his call when he returns.
Source: Shafaqna
